Lying Cups

“Look here,” I said, “I’m not sure you get the point of it.”

“Oh, I get the point of it,” he said.

“Not at all,” I returned. “If you did, you’d know what I meant when I said ‘get the point of it’.”

He put his head in his hands in a dramatic fashion.

“Can you please make some sense?” he tried again.

“Okay, look here,” I said, preparing to go over all the details again. “There’s no way this cup”–and I indicated a 32 oz. canteen–“can survive a 500 ft. drop into a canyon full of the rockiest rocks ever.”

“It doesn’t say it can do that,” he returned sharply.

I gave him the professor face. I do that from time to time, you know. It can be rather effective, too. #scary

“It says it can on the cup,” I said.

“Show me.”

So, I did.

And I quote: Able to withstand up to a 500 ft. drop!

“It doesn’t say anything about rocks being at the bottom,” he said.

“Well,” I said, “that’s my problem, see. At the bottom of every canyon, there’s rocks, double-see, and I think it’s telling they left out the rocks bit, triple-see. It’s kinda like saying the cup can survive the fall, only if there are no rocks at the bottom. But there are ALWAYS rocks at the bottom of a canyon.”

“Are you for real?

I stopped. The professor may or may not have been getting a little cranky here. #timetoriot

“Last time I checked,” I said, “I found that I was very real–and brutally scary.”

“Look,” he said, “if you’re really worried about this cup surviving a 500 ft. drop, then there’s something wrong in your life.”

I put the cup back on the shelf.

“This professor, you must understand, does not buy lying cups.”


71 Responses to “Lying Cups”

  1. 1 Lady Dunamis January 18, 2017 at 01:47


    • 2 Professor VJ Duke January 28, 2017 at 18:51

      Cup survivor! Let’s start a new reality show, Lady.

  2. 3 L. Marie January 15, 2017 at 14:11

    I popped over on the off chance that you were back. And I see you’ve been back for a month now. Wow.
    I also refuse to buy lying cups . . . or cranky silverware.

    • 4 Professor VJ Duke January 16, 2017 at 01:48

      Wait…have I really been back that long? I’m so old…

  3. 5 Ms. Vee January 14, 2017 at 13:41

    Hmmm…maybe, just maybe the cup would survive. It should be tested Professor. Am I getting that look?👀

    • 6 Professor VJ Duke January 16, 2017 at 01:47

      Yes, you are! Can you test it for me?

      • 7 Ms. Vee January 16, 2017 at 01:50

        Of course. I would love to. You see I like to break things! 😊

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke January 18, 2017 at 00:05

        Even glass?

      • 9 Ms. Vee January 18, 2017 at 00:55


  4. 10 jthenovice January 12, 2017 at 22:24

    Hmmm. Well, I must agree that rocks ARE at the bottom. And who wouldn’t be tempted to see if it did survive…….I can see why Prof put it back.

    • 11 Professor VJ Duke January 16, 2017 at 01:47

      Because I”m a sensible person, after all, right?

      • 12 jthenovice January 16, 2017 at 21:15

        Of course, Professor!

      • 13 Professor VJ Duke January 18, 2017 at 00:21

        Well kinda.

      • 14 jthenovice January 19, 2017 at 18:42

        ha ha. of COURSE

      • 15 Professor VJ Duke January 28, 2017 at 19:08

        That’s the spirit!

  5. 16 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister January 12, 2017 at 05:12

    I’m concerned. How come I’m left wondering about what I don’t understand? Maybe just pack a water bottle. Leave the canteen for less rocky adventures…possibly.

    • 17 Professor VJ Duke January 16, 2017 at 01:46

      But I thought we were going on a rock adventure?

      • 18 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister January 16, 2017 at 16:23

        One of us is, you, I think.

      • 19 Professor VJ Duke January 18, 2017 at 00:17

        And you, if I”m going!

      • 20 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister January 18, 2017 at 02:38

        Will I have protection, and if we’re both going can I take coffee?

      • 21 Professor VJ Duke January 28, 2017 at 18:55

        You can take a short sword and a bomb, fair?

      • 22 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister January 30, 2017 at 23:43

        What will I ever do with just a short sword. Annoy some snails?

      • 23 Professor VJ Duke January 30, 2017 at 23:46

        *laughing lots* They’re effective! You could stab people and steal wallets maybe?

      • 24 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister January 30, 2017 at 23:50

        I’m no theif. That’s your role, Sir! *sparkles*

  6. 25 Haylee January 11, 2017 at 21:34

    What if the canyon had snow or water at the bottom? Still, he was mighty rude – I wonder if he has a blog and complained about you?!
    You should just buy a tough leather drinking skin, I’m sure they’d survive a fall from space. Maybe.

    • 26 Professor VJ Duke January 16, 2017 at 01:44

      Whoa…is there such a thing as that? I’d like two, please, since my bday is coming up…

      • 27 Haylee January 16, 2017 at 07:45

        Your birthday is ages away! But there is indeed, look them up – terribly medieval looking.

      • 28 Professor VJ Duke January 18, 2017 at 00:09

        I love them! It is not! Like…it’s gonna be here before I knows it.

      • 29 Haylee January 18, 2017 at 07:52

        It’s half a week away from mine, I know that (I think!) And mine is still over 1500 hours away.

      • 30 Professor VJ Duke January 28, 2017 at 18:59

        Whoa. When you say it like that…it’s like forever! Forever is such a long time, too.

  7. 31 John W. Howell January 11, 2017 at 21:26

    I’m with you. I don’t buy lying ayes either. You know where some galoot will say “aye” to a question when he knows the answer is no!

    • 32 Professor VJ Duke January 16, 2017 at 01:44

      *laughing* A just point, fair sir! We should hunt down all the “aye” saying people and exterminate them.

      • 33 John W. Howell January 16, 2017 at 15:29

        Or teach them the value of “nay.”

      • 34 Professor VJ Duke January 18, 2017 at 00:17

        Is that no or the cousin of hay?

      • 35 John W. Howell January 18, 2017 at 01:23

        No. The cousin of hay is Hi.

      • 36 Professor VJ Duke January 28, 2017 at 18:49

        No wonder I’m allergic to saying hi.

      • 37 John W. Howell January 28, 2017 at 20:04

        Now you know.

      • 38 Professor VJ Duke January 30, 2017 at 23:39

        I need to get some sort of medication for it.

      • 39 John W. Howell January 31, 2017 at 01:19

        Ice cream.

  8. 40 walt walker January 11, 2017 at 18:39

    #timetoriot reminded me of Smiles Riot. How is the old fellow?

    • 41 Professor VJ Duke January 16, 2017 at 01:42

      I think he’s well. Still being troubled by his personality disorder. Isn’t he my cousin or something?

  9. 42 MissTiffany January 11, 2017 at 16:31

    I am curious as to why the Professor is so concerned about the canteen surviving the 500 ft drop. Sure the cup says it can (and maybe it believes it) but why would this ever need to be tested? And that poor man, being confronted with the professor face…I doubt he was prepared.

    • 43 Professor VJ Duke January 16, 2017 at 01:42

      *laughs* Well, what if, for instance, I fell 500 ft? You’d want the cup to survive that fall if you were paying such money for it, don’t you suppose?

      • 44 MissTiffany January 16, 2017 at 14:36

        I think, if I were falling 500 ft, I would be more worried about myself surviving the fall. And if I did, then I would be much too grateful for surviving to be upset if my cup (however expensive it was) had a scratch.

      • 45 Professor VJ Duke January 18, 2017 at 00:11

        Yes, I would be too, if I didn’t have my parachute. You should get one, you know. Maybe I’ll buy you one for Christmas. But you have to practice with it, mind.

      • 46 MissTiffany January 18, 2017 at 13:48

        And do you always wear a parachute then? Are you used to falling 500 ft? I’m not sure how I would practice, since there are no high places around where I live. Could I just pretend to practice? Oh. Sometimes there are very strong winds where I live. If I opened the parachute into the wind, would I be blown backwards and carried away like a fly away kite? I am curious now.

      • 47 Professor VJ Duke January 28, 2017 at 19:00

        *laughs* You definitely might be, I’m thinking. I wear one only on missions. We’ll have to get you one and then hike to a mountain or something.

      • 48 MissTiffany January 30, 2017 at 13:47

        Well that makes sense. One never knows what might happen on a mission. Better safe than sorry. I think I would enjoy hiking to a mountain. (but I prefer it not to be Mount Doom, if possible.)

      • 49 Professor VJ Duke January 30, 2017 at 23:43

        Mount Doom?! Are you crazy? What about the orcs? And…and…and…the smell?

      • 50 MissTiffany January 31, 2017 at 15:50

        No. I’m not. Which is why I specifically asked not to go to Mount Doom. In case you were feeling crazy, see. I just want to avoid the orcs and the smell and the lack of water and the possibly of the mountain exploding if two hobbits happen to be there at the same time disposing of a particular item, see.

  10. 51 Debbie January 11, 2017 at 16:03

    False advertisement, I say! Of course, we can’t know for sure unless we do a bit of experimenting. Probably ought to find a 500-foot drop with a bunch of rocks on the bottom and toss that cup in. But gee, who’s going to go down and find out whether it survived or not??!

    • 52 Professor VJ Duke January 16, 2017 at 01:40

      Well, see, Debbie. That’s where I was hoping you might come in. WE could lower you down using a a few ropes. HOw’s it sound?

      • 53 Debbie January 16, 2017 at 14:55

        Um, not really my cuppa tea, professor! Let’s let Ruber go down — then, if something awful happens, well……..

      • 54 Professor VJ Duke January 18, 2017 at 00:15

        *laughs* Just well?!

  11. 55 FictionFan January 11, 2017 at 15:26

    See, if you were really worried about it, you could drop with the cup, and kinda wriggle round so you landed first – then it’d have something soft to land on and it probably wouldn’t break. See? It just takes a bit of planning…

    Did the blue-footed boobies eat the chickens?!?!!

    Are you in the middle of PUTTING A VIDEO ON YOUTUBE yet?

    • 56 Professor VJ Duke January 16, 2017 at 01:39

      But what if I break my bones? Or just one bone? Or even just half a break of half a bone? What then? I’d def have to retire then.

      *laughs* How astute! You’re rather brilliant today.

      This actually reminded me to post it, can you believe. I’d quite forgotten.

      • 57 FictionFan January 16, 2017 at 16:51

        Oh, don’t be such a wuss! Rafa would do it, I bet…

        *preens* Just today?

        Well, then, let me just remind you ABOUT THE OTHER TWO!!!!!

      • 58 Professor VJ Duke January 18, 2017 at 00:19

        He probably would. And so would Julian Edelman–who is cooler, btw.

        Well, I don’t know! You tell me?

        I can’t! Not yet, at least.

      • 59 FictionFan January 18, 2017 at 02:02

        Is not! Rafa would never grow a horrid Edelman, for a start!

        *growls* You should know I’m brilliant every day…

        Oh, fiddlededee, sir! I’m going to have to find a new favourite guitarist at this rate…

      • 60 Professor VJ Duke January 28, 2017 at 18:54

        Edelman has one. I have one, too. Well a bit of a one. I get to shave after next Sunday.

        Not every other? I’m always the every other type of fellow myself.

        Wait! Scarlet says that, doesn’t she?

      • 61 FictionFan January 29, 2017 at 17:52


        Yeah, but that’s ‘cos you’re a boy. Girls are better!

        She does indeed, Aaaaaaaaaaaaaashley!

      • 62 Professor VJ Duke January 30, 2017 at 23:42

        I think you might be right. I’m sooooooooooooooo tired. Ugh. And a sigh. And another ugh. Then one more sigh.

        *Laughing lots* No, don’t say that!

      • 63 FictionFan January 31, 2017 at 02:09

        I’m always right! Aw, poor you! Brain work is tiring when you’re not used to it… *skips off*


  12. 64 Lucy Brazier January 11, 2017 at 15:13

    I am surprised the poor chap didn’t faint at the sight of the professorish face – a beastly vision of viciousness!

    • 65 Professor VJ Duke January 16, 2017 at 01:37

      Complete with red eyes, you know. I scare myself sometimes.

      • 66 Lucy Brazier January 16, 2017 at 07:08

        *squee!* I think I must hide.

      • 67 Professor VJ Duke January 18, 2017 at 00:07

        You say that, but I can’t hide from myself. It’s hopeless.

      • 68 Lucy Brazier January 18, 2017 at 07:03

        You must be in a constant state of terror!

      • 69 Professor VJ Duke January 28, 2017 at 18:57

        I am. I live in a constant state of unhinged-ness.

  13. 70 Chris White January 11, 2017 at 15:01

    Misleading mugs are just as bad.

    • 71 Professor VJ Duke January 16, 2017 at 01:36

      Aha! I knew it. Maybe even worse, would you say?

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