Girls Can’t Bow

So, I won’t lie.

I never do, you know.

Well, that’s not true.

See, sometimes I lie, other times I don’t. It’s a consternation, but it can’t be helped.

That’s why I always say: “I lie every other day.”

Anyways, I must tell you something that’s rather hurtful, and I def can’t lie about it.

Here it is:

Girls can’t bow.

That’s not to say they don’t want to, but it’s just an impossibility. What happens when they try isn’t a bow, see. We can’t go redefining words, after all. (For example, you wouldn’t call a crocodile a lizard if he was stunted in the growth department, would you? Of course not. Likewise, we can’t call a not-bow a bow.)

What's the difference between a bow a bough and a bow? Never mind. That's neither here nor over there.

So, to back up my hypothesis, I must now needs present proof. (All good professor do such things, see. And I’m a good professor, double-see.)

What better way to prove a point than using our dear friend Mr. Google.

Here’s what I found after a quick google; I scanned nearly 642,000 results, btdubs.

And these images were the best that the ladies had to offer.

Proof #1

I mean, this is so far from a bow that I win right away. No problem; no battle; no skin from my lobes.

Proof #2 & #3

A hand spin is not bowing.

Proof #4

This one was closest to a bow…but for a bow to be legit, you really can’t speak and bow at the same time. Therefore, I win.

And I didn’t tell a lie.

And girls can’t bow.

And that’s the end.

41 Responses to “Girls Can’t Bow”

  1. 1 Brenton Dickieson August 9, 2018 at 11:17

    This was pretty funny. I lived in Japan, and trust me girls and boys can out-bow almost anyone! But some redefining does take place.
    I should note as a boy that I don’t know if I have ever curtseyed.

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke August 15, 2018 at 18:29

      Same! But it seems that girls have bowed. Something is wrong with this picture if you ask me. So…boys and girls in Japan? Well, that is something. I’m impressed. But not with myself just yet.

  2. 3 tworoadsdivergedinyellowwood September 13, 2017 at 20:00

    I can bow and I am a girl. So now. I simply choose to curtsy. I can bow at the waist so well I can touch my nose to my knees doing it.

  3. 9 MissTiffany June 19, 2017 at 12:54

    You’re alive! Good to hear from you again, Professor! As for bowing, why should girls do that when we have the much more elegant option of the curtsy?

  4. 13 Lady Quiet Storm June 19, 2017 at 10:52

    Well shiver me timbers look who decided to blog! 😜🤓

    Of a truth women were meant to curtsy because it brings out the elegance and grace we have.

  5. 15 Jackie June 19, 2017 at 03:02

    Professor? Is that really you?!

  6. 19 Haylee June 18, 2017 at 20:37

    Well. That’s one way to make an entrance, stirring up a little controversy! You’ll be landing yourself in a whole heap of trouble with such statements – and of course women can bow. They just add embellishments to make them look more interesting. Bowing is only one letter away from boring after all.
    And this lady is the puppet master of bows… why do it yourself when you can command others?! ;)

    Maybe stay a little longer this time, yes? *crossed fingers and toes* (Good to see you back)

  7. 21 FictionFan June 18, 2017 at 19:48

    *sighs* Poor Prof! You simply don’t understand! You see, it’s a well-known fact that curtseying is much, much, MUCH harder than bowing, and no man has ever been able to master the art, so they bow instead as a kind of simpler alternative more suited to their simpler minds. Bless the little pets! As for talking and bowing at the same time… well, obviously, men can’t do that! But women have always been able to multitask… see?

    Welcome back!

  8. 28 walt walker June 18, 2017 at 19:12

    I can’t bow either. Does that make me a girl?

  9. 34 John W. Howell June 18, 2017 at 19:07

    Welcome back, Professor. I know it is we who have been away since you were with yourself this whole time.

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