Girls Can’t Bow

So, I won’t lie.

I never do, you know.

Well, that’s not true.

See, sometimes I lie, other times I don’t. It’s a consternation, but it can’t be helped.

That’s why I always say: “I lie every other day.”

Anyways, I must tell you something that’s rather hurtful, and I def can’t lie about it.

Here it is:

Girls can’t bow.

That’s not to say they don’t want to, but it’s just an impossibility. What happens when they try isn’t a bow, see. We can’t go redefining words, after all. (For example, you wouldn’t call a crocodile a lizard if he was stunted in the growth department, would you? Of course not. Likewise, we can’t call a not-bow a bow.)

What's the difference between a bow a bough and a bow? Never mind. That's neither here nor over there.

So, to back up my hypothesis, I must now needs present proof. (All good professor do such things, see. And I’m a good professor, double-see.)

What better way to prove a point than using our dear friend Mr. Google.

Here’s what I found after a quick google; I scanned nearly 642,000 results, btdubs.

And these images were the best that the ladies had to offer.

Proof #1

I mean, this is so far from a bow that I win right away. No problem; no battle; no skin from my lobes.

Proof #2 & #3

A hand spin is not bowing.

Proof #4

This one was closest to a bow…but for a bow to be legit, you really can’t speak and bow at the same time. Therefore, I win.

And I didn’t tell a lie.

And girls can’t bow.

And that’s the end.


41 Responses to “Girls Can’t Bow”

  1. 1 Brenton Dickieson August 9, 2018 at 11:17

    This was pretty funny. I lived in Japan, and trust me girls and boys can out-bow almost anyone! But some redefining does take place.
    I should note as a boy that I don’t know if I have ever curtseyed.

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke August 15, 2018 at 18:29

      Same! But it seems that girls have bowed. Something is wrong with this picture if you ask me. So…boys and girls in Japan? Well, that is something. I’m impressed. But not with myself just yet.

  2. 3 tworoadsdivergedinyellowwood September 13, 2017 at 20:00

    I can bow and I am a girl. So now. I simply choose to curtsy. I can bow at the waist so well I can touch my nose to my knees doing it.

    • 4 Professor VJ Duke July 9, 2018 at 03:37

      Waittttttt….really? I’m dumbfounded, the sudden. Unless you’re joking.

      • 5 tworoadsdivergedinyellowwood July 10, 2018 at 17:50

        Well, I mean, if you can touch your toes, and have enough balance to walk in heels, you kind of should be capable of bowing, and I’m capable of both, so…

      • 6 Professor VJ Duke July 11, 2018 at 19:32

        *mouth drops* I’m like seriously impressed. If I was of the mind, I’d grab a pair of heels and give it a go.

      • 7 tworoadsdivergedinyellowwood July 12, 2018 at 18:13

        Next post for your blog: “Bowing: Are heels optional?”

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke July 17, 2018 at 15:18

        Fantastic idea! This is actually an important topic that someone just must address.

  3. 9 MissTiffany June 19, 2017 at 12:54

    You’re alive! Good to hear from you again, Professor! As for bowing, why should girls do that when we have the much more elegant option of the curtsy?

    • 10 Professor VJ Duke July 9, 2018 at 03:37

      Curtsying can’t be more elegant simply because it’s harder to spell. #win

      • 11 MissTiffany July 12, 2018 at 17:42

        It’s not about the spelling, it’s all about the motion – fluid and graceful. #ladylike

      • 12 Professor VJ Duke July 17, 2018 at 15:18

        Wait…does that mean I can’t be graceful? *attempts a move*

  4. 13 Lady Quiet Storm June 19, 2017 at 10:52

    Well shiver me timbers look who decided to blog! 😜🤓

    Of a truth women were meant to curtsy because it brings out the elegance and grace we have.

    • 14 Professor VJ Duke July 9, 2018 at 03:38

      Can we talk about my grace?

  5. 15 Jackie June 19, 2017 at 03:02

    Professor? Is that really you?!

    • 16 Professor VJ Duke July 9, 2018 at 03:38

      Alive and in the flesh, yes.

      • 17 Jackie July 9, 2018 at 12:22

        So glad to hear it.

      • 18 Professor VJ Duke July 9, 2018 at 14:21

        Same, I think

  6. 19 Haylee June 18, 2017 at 20:37

    Well. That’s one way to make an entrance, stirring up a little controversy! You’ll be landing yourself in a whole heap of trouble with such statements – and of course women can bow. They just add embellishments to make them look more interesting. Bowing is only one letter away from boring after all.
    And this lady is the puppet master of bows… why do it yourself when you can command others?! ;)

    Maybe stay a little longer this time, yes? *crossed fingers and toes* (Good to see you back)

    • 20 Professor VJ Duke July 9, 2018 at 03:38

      Hayleeeeeeeeee!!!! This is a great point. In fact, I desire to be like her, the sudden.

  7. 21 FictionFan June 18, 2017 at 19:48

    *sighs* Poor Prof! You simply don’t understand! You see, it’s a well-known fact that curtseying is much, much, MUCH harder than bowing, and no man has ever been able to master the art, so they bow instead as a kind of simpler alternative more suited to their simpler minds. Bless the little pets! As for talking and bowing at the same time… well, obviously, men can’t do that! But women have always been able to multitask… see?

    Welcome back!

    • 22 Professor VJ Duke July 9, 2018 at 03:39

      Buttttttttttt…can you curtsy without a dress? That’s my question.

      • 23 FictionFan July 22, 2018 at 11:31

        *gasps* How dare you? Do you think I go about curtseying in my corset and bloomers, sir??? What kind of books have you been reading??????? *faints*

      • 24 Professor VJ Duke August 15, 2018 at 18:28

        *tries not to laugh* What is a bloomer! Can you eat one?

      • 25 FictionFan August 15, 2018 at 23:16

        Tell you what, if you’re dating someone and you discover you’d really rather not be, just whisper in her ear “Darling, please may I eat your bloomers?” I guarantee the relationship will be over. And the black eye will heal in time…

      • 26 Professor VJ Duke August 19, 2018 at 16:59

        I wouldn’t hit a girl, mind your manners! Eat a bloomer. Hmm. I might just have to try this anyway. Tho I doubt anyone knows what a bloomer is. It sounds like cake, I tell you!

      • 27 FictionFan August 20, 2018 at 00:21

        No, no, no! SHE’D hit YOU! And that would be totally justified! There are two kinds of bloomers, and one is indeed edible, but not the ones you wear.

  8. 28 walt walker June 18, 2017 at 19:12

    I can’t bow either. Does that make me a girl?

    • 29 Professor VJ Duke July 9, 2018 at 03:39

      hahahahahahahahahaha. Well. Probably not. Can you curtsy?

      • 30 walt walker July 9, 2018 at 04:22

        What the…? Who…? Professor?! Why is your round thingy red, the sudden? Are you in peril? Let me know and I will assist.

      • 31 Professor VJ Duke July 9, 2018 at 14:21

        Isn’t it a square, though? I mean, it looks like one to me, at least. No, red is for blood. But fear not, it’s not mine.

      • 32 walt walker July 9, 2018 at 14:25

        It’s the roundest square I’ve ever seen. I fear for the one who’s blood you’ve spilled. You are a vicious foe.

      • 33 Professor VJ Duke July 9, 2018 at 18:53

        Well, I’ve been known to get all my shapes confused in school; you could be right.

        Nah, bruh, his blood was on his head. I warned him it was a dangerous operation.

  9. 34 John W. Howell June 18, 2017 at 19:07

    Welcome back, Professor. I know it is we who have been away since you were with yourself this whole time.

    • 35 Professor VJ Duke July 9, 2018 at 03:39

      Now that statement is so, so deep.

      • 36 John W. Howell July 9, 2018 at 12:22

        Talk about a missing link. Welcome back again. :-D

      • 37 Professor VJ Duke July 9, 2018 at 14:21

        I’ve returned from hibernation.

      • 38 John W. Howell July 10, 2018 at 01:15

        I see that. :-D

      • 39 Professor VJ Duke July 11, 2018 at 19:31

        Check out my face: ==]:)=

      • 40 John W. Howell July 12, 2018 at 01:06

        I like it. Tall hat and all. =]:-}

      • 41 Professor VJ Duke July 17, 2018 at 15:18

        OoO yours is grand too

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