So, I’ve got a very pressing question, the sudden.
Would you rather be a tiger…

…or a tiger slamander…

An odd question, I’m sure you’ll agree.
Let me start at the beginning, tho.
See, the professor was in a Discovery Store in a mall. Well, sorta like a nature store.
I walked in ’cause there were these things about:

This professor was only looking for a minute before a young man came up. He had bushy eyebrows, lots of hair, and thick glasses.
“Hey,” he said.
He also worked there; I could tell by his shirt, see.
“Many hey’s in return,” I answered. Didn’t want to be bothered, really.
“Can I ask you a question? Good. Would you rather be a tiger or a tiger salamander?”
Now, this was a thing. Not too hard of a decision either. See, tigers are definitely more vicious than tiger salamanders–that’s what I was thinking, at least.
“You know,” I said, “I’d rather be a tiger. A black one, tho.”
And that’s when the fellow got really excited.
“That’s what you say now!” he said, gesticulating wildly about. “But what if I told you tiger salamanders can transmit Batrachochytrium dendrobatidis which is the cause of the disease Chytridiomycosis, which is a danger to most frog species.”
“You just blew my mind.”
“Which means,” he continued undaunted, “tiger salamanders can be the greatest weapon ever, if you’re fighting a population of frogs.”
“I see, but–“
“Which means, even though on the surface a tiger seems way more powerful than a tiger salamander, tigers are not as effective against a population of frogs as a tiger salamander would be.”
“Wow, what a thing–“
“See? Size isn’t everything. Sometimes slimy wins out.”
He laughed at his own joke there.
“But,” I countered, “let’s suppose, just for kicks, giggles, and whatnot, that a particular tiger–a real beast of a fellow–hated frogs to no end. In fact, he made it his sole ambition in life to go around and squish them up. What then? Maybe just as effective as the tiger salamander?”
The fellow was shaking his head. “Not at all. Chytridiomycosis can spread to way more frogs! Way more than the tiger could ever crush.”
There was silence for a time.
Finally, he said:
“And that is why I’d rather be a tiger salamander than a tiger. Did I change your mind on it, too? Would you rather be a tiger salamander, too?”
I looked him straight in the eye, and said:
“No, I think not. I’d rather be a tiger still. And the first thing I’d do as a tiger is find you (as a tiger salamander) and squish you right and proper.”
I left.
Like this:
Like Loading...