NAME: King Arthur. (Sometimes referred to as the Autocrat by his ‘loving’ subjects.)
RESIDENCE: In a medieval castle in England. Doubtful it has sewage.
PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION: Arthur is an interest. He’s very, very, very short, bald as a naked mole rat, and incredibly cantankerous. He also possesses a nasally voice. Arthur does his best to hide his baldness by wearing a long yellow wig. He does have a beard—and mustache.
ABOUT: Some have assumed that King Arthur is absolutely obsessed with the legends of King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table. You see, Arthur has a sword—wielded by Baccus—which he christened Excalibur.
GREATEST FRIEND: Lionel Howard his stutterbutt of an assistant. (Stutterbutt is Punchy-Landish for a person who stutters uncontrollably.)
GREATEST FOE: Lucini Pavarinni.
DESCRIPTION IN THREE WORDS: Short, vicious, and possessing magnanimous amount of temper. (I cheated again, but it’s imperative sometimes.)
QUOTES: Don’t tell me how to run my kingdom! Oh, the pains of kingship—I wouldn’t give it up for anything.