NAME: Mortimer Butterfield.

RESIDENCE: Mortimer probably owns mansions across the Punchy Lands, but I’m not sure. He’s definitely wealthy enough to facilitate such extravagance.

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION: Mortimer is small—slightly below five feet, actually. He has a long pointy nose and curly brown hair that reaches to his shoulders. Mortimer usually dresses in wild suits. That’s really the only way I could describe them.

ABOUT: Oh dear…what’s to say? The truth, I suppose. I just hope Mortimer never finds out that I told you! So no telling, please!

Mortimer is a ruthless business man. He is the richest man in the Punchy Lands. There, I told you. He is the CEO of the CIO. Yes, that is always quite confusing. The CIO stands for: The Cookies and Ice Cream Organization. Mortimer has made so much money from his sweets business that it’s no longer funny. Of course, though, he doesn’t have as much money as can be found in the numerous passageways of the Punchy Cave.

GREATEST FRIEND: When you’re as wicked as Mortimer you don’t tend to have many friends—or any at all. But…Manly-Man is usually friendly with Mortimer. You’ll have to take that up with Manly-Man.

GREATEST FOE: Anyone who gets in his way.

DESCRIPTION IN THREE WORDS: Ruthless, small, and greedy.

QUOTES: There’s a lot of profit here, just waiting to be had.


11 Responses to “Mortimer Butterfield”

  1. 1 FictionFan July 23, 2013 at 01:06

    What?!? It’s all off…

    Yes, it’s 2 a.m. – but I’m a night owl.

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke July 23, 2013 at 01:09

      :lol: Must have that Darby, mustn’t you? Are you jealous of Lizio?

      I understand that. It’s always great fun to sleep in–if Bob will let you.Though, BigSister probably wouldn’t approve…

      • 3 FictionFan July 23, 2013 at 01:13

        Fortunately, BigSister lives a hundred miles away…

        You see, I feel I am Lizzie – so no need to feel jealous. I suspect Ms Austen was a sooth-sayer and though she foretold the story of Darby’s and my love, she just got my name wrong – and inadvertently set the story in England. And this is why I haven’t managed to find him yet – the psychic sat-nav isn’t working properly…

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke July 23, 2013 at 01:37

        Then little brother might not be happy. ;) Ah, glorious summer, when school’s out!

        Wow. Well, she got his name wrong too. It was Fitzio Darby, not the other thing.

  2. 5 FictionFan July 22, 2013 at 22:21

    A rich man with his own ice cream factory!!! Is he by any chance looking for a wife… ;)

    • 6 Professor VJ Duke July 22, 2013 at 23:23

      Well Mortimer is single… But, of course, you’re really not interested…right?

      • 7 FictionFan July 22, 2013 at 23:40

        Well, I’d be happier if it was a chocolate factory, but if he could be persuaded to branch out into ice-lollies, and the pre-nup was favourable… ;)

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke July 23, 2013 at 00:08

        Chocolate is a HUGE product Mortimer’s. He makes every sweet you can think of–including ice loullies!

        If you married Mortimer you’d be a bird in a cage. And if you popped him off, which I’m sure you’re thinking, you wouldn’t inherit a penny…tuppence?

        You seem drawn to the wicked characters. What am I to suppose from that?

      • 9 FictionFan July 23, 2013 at 00:54

        A bird in a cage with an endless supply of chocolate and ice-lollies! I reckon that sounds like an OK lifestyle…would I be allowed to have my Kindle in the cage – and broadband?

        The bad boys are always the most attractive – haven’t you ever watched Grease? ;)

      • 10 Professor VJ Duke July 23, 2013 at 00:58

        No, I’ve actually never watched that. You should avoid American movie trash…:P

        He’d probably let you have both of those…though, you wouldn’t be allowed to look at Darby.

      • 11 Professor VJ Duke July 23, 2013 at 01:03

        BTW, isn’t it rather late in Scotland?

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Depends on the day, see.

Punchy Argot:

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