PT News LogoAbout:

Professing Truth (PT) News started soon after it began and began as soon as it started. It was an answer to the larger newspapers’ insistence to continue lying about all sorts of things.

Located in the heart of the busy city’s news sector in North America, PT News is surrounded, and looked down upon (quite literally), by many vindictive skyscrapers, home to the larger and more popular newspapers of the land.

Standing alone in its fight for truth, PT News has garnered something of a following and prints around 10,000 papers a week. That number is growing steadily—and slowly.

PT News has been ostracized by the larger papers, and even scandalously written about. But it stands strong. After all, someone must bring the truth to the land.

Slogan: “PT for TPL”

PT News Staff:

Screen Shot 2015-07-06 at 9.33.18 AMProfessor VJ Duke — Founder & Managing Editor
PVJ started the paper; therefore, he is quite responsible for it. He makes sure the paper comes together and is ready for press on time. Also, he oversees front page stories.



Screen Shot 2015-07-06 at 10.02.48 AMNick Warren — Bureau Chief
Nick joined the paper right after it was started. He deals with hiring reporters, acquiring eye-popping stories, managing what stories go where and why, and even dealing with hate mail.


Screen Shot 2015-07-06 at 10.03.04 AMJ. Freedwoppen — Head Reporter
Mr. Freedwoppen is a great asset to PT News. Traveling the entirety of the land, searching for the most strange and outlandish stories, Mr. Freedwoppen’s job isn’t an easy one, but he loves it to many deaths, it is said. He also feels in as the paper’s videographer from time to time.

Screen Shot 2015-07-06 at 10.03.16 AMV. Shnodgrate — Copy Editor
Mr. Shnodgrate is the oldest member (age-wise) of the team. Joining PT News to help out his good friend PVJ, Mr. Shnodgrate now manages eliminating mistakes and poor grammar from the paper. He also writes for the paper. Being a well-respected and renown poet of the land, Mr. Shnodgrate’s expertise is invaluable.

Screen Shot 2015-07-07 at 4.46.02 PMJulia Thompson — Reporter
Miss Thompson is the newest member to the PT News team. She’s a recent graduate of Punchy College and is quite excited to work for a real-life news company. Her job is to find stories—great ones, wicked ones, and horribly filthy ones.


66 Responses to “PT News”

  1. 1 erinkenobi2893 October 2, 2015 at 03:09

    When you get your company back, Professor, is it okay if I come and work for you? I need experience. Also an internship. And this is somewhat my major.
    Also, I’ve begun time travelling, so maybe I could be a travel consultant, of sorts, and give you accurate reports on the Far Past and Distant Future?

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke October 2, 2015 at 13:38

      Yes certainly can! I need a good assistant and whatnot. Can you make hot chocolate every morning?

      • 3 erinkenobi2893 October 2, 2015 at 13:42

        Absolutely! :-D

  2. 4 Debbie July 7, 2015 at 14:44

    Susan has brought up a valid point, you know. No female staff members at this publication? C’mon, Professor, make one up if you have to (but NOT Amelia!!) — have her sell ads, serve as photographer, something!

    • 5 Professor VJ Duke July 7, 2015 at 19:33

      *laughing* Well, Debbie, now here’s the thing: I just sent out a job thingy for another reporter, and a few ladies have shown interest! Now what do you say to that?! *smiles proudly* Why not Amelia?

      • 6 Debbie July 7, 2015 at 22:59

        Great! News outlets these days are big on “diversity,” you know. As for Amelia? Well, she probably can’t spell. Or write. So, unless you just need somebody to answer the phone. . .

      • 7 Professor VJ Duke July 8, 2015 at 13:19

        *laughing* I say, you hate her, don’t you?

  3. 8 Susan P July 7, 2015 at 13:58

    I hope that Mr. Warren gets twice the salary as the other assistants. I mean, he had a heavy load to carry. And why are there no women on the staff? That smacks of sex-ism. I think there is a law about that. And there are rumors that there is a cartel of thugs hiding out in the Forest. What say ye?

    • 9 Professor VJ Duke July 7, 2015 at 19:31

      Twice the salary? But why is that? Is he whining to you? *professorish eye on Nick, the sudden*

      Well, here’s the thing, we just formed the paper, see. Now, we’re sending out job applications for another reporter. I’ve actually got some interviews to conduct on the morrow. Now, the interest is, a few women have shown interest. Isn’t that grand?

      Are you serious?! Now, how did you find out about this?

      • 10 Susan P July 8, 2015 at 01:04

        It was someone who was talking about a way back machine that can reverse aging .

      • 11 Professor VJ Duke July 8, 2015 at 13:21

        Aha! Quite right. I must needs pull out that story… It’s all Ruber’s fault, as usual.

      • 12 Susan P July 8, 2015 at 16:03

        Ruber is one of those quiet people that you need to be watching at every minute.

      • 13 Professor VJ Duke July 8, 2015 at 19:09

        Do you suppose he can get horribly violent?

      • 14 Susan P July 8, 2015 at 21:27

        I rather think so.

        Especially if his father is around.

      • 15 Professor VJ Duke July 9, 2015 at 12:01

        *nods* It’s a truth that DS is a bad influence on Ruber. Just like lemons are a bad influence on the professor.

      • 16 Susan P July 9, 2015 at 12:28

        Well, how about some cashews?

      • 17 Professor VJ Duke July 9, 2015 at 22:40

        Cashews are a great influence on me. They make me spicier, can you believe.

      • 18 Susan P July 10, 2015 at 00:22

        I have not doubt that is truth.

      • 19 Professor VJ Duke July 10, 2015 at 12:57

        We’re wicked together.

      • 20 Susan P July 10, 2015 at 14:39

        Misery Loves company so they say.

      • 21 Professor VJ Duke July 10, 2015 at 19:04

        Isn’t Misery a book by SK?

      • 22 Susan P July 12, 2015 at 12:59

        I don’t know. Haven’t ever seen it.

      • 23 Professor VJ Duke July 13, 2015 at 00:09

        Oh, you’re just being ducky!

      • 24 Susan P July 13, 2015 at 13:04

        The ducks have it here. What a storm we had yesterday!

      • 25 Professor VJ Duke July 14, 2015 at 12:53

        No! Was it like a hurricane? Something like that (not near as bad obviously) passed through a bit back. Took down a tree. How’s George?

      • 26 Susan P July 14, 2015 at 13:13

        It was harsh. Not like a hurricane.

      • 27 Professor VJ Duke July 14, 2015 at 21:38

        Then again, I’ve never really seen a hurricane. Bet those stink lots and littles.

      • 28 Susan P July 15, 2015 at 01:25

        2004 we had like four hurricanes here in north central FL and down south they had 5. It was a rip snorter.

      • 29 Professor VJ Duke July 15, 2015 at 12:57

        Rip snorter! *laughs* I love that! Did it ever get dry over there in 2004?

      • 30 Susan P July 15, 2015 at 17:48

        Well, even with all of the water, there is still a water shortage.

      • 31 Professor VJ Duke July 16, 2015 at 14:03

        Nah…really? Nah!

      • 32 Susan P July 16, 2015 at 17:36

        Really, really. Other counties are always trying to find a way to get some of our water.

      • 33 Professor VJ Duke July 17, 2015 at 00:43

        A wonder! I would even steal some, you know.

      • 34 Susan P July 17, 2015 at 01:14

        You had best get it soon before it is all gone.

      • 35 Professor VJ Duke July 17, 2015 at 22:07

        I’m so slow, though.

      • 36 Susan P July 18, 2015 at 00:51

        I dunno about that. Some of Mr. R’s ladies said you were pretty fast.

      • 37 Professor VJ Duke July 20, 2015 at 13:00

        That’s ’cause they’re spying on me, dadblameit!

      • 38 Susan P July 20, 2015 at 13:39

        Crushing on you?

      • 39 Professor VJ Duke July 21, 2015 at 11:24

        I’m too old for them, wouldn’t you know.

      • 40 Susan P July 21, 2015 at 13:25

        Lots of them are gold diggers, so you are better off.

      • 41 Professor VJ Duke July 22, 2015 at 12:26

        I want to be a gold digger, too, don’t you know!

      • 42 Susan P July 22, 2015 at 14:19

        I think there is another term for mens.

      • 43 Professor VJ Duke July 22, 2015 at 19:11

        Silver digger?

      • 44 Susan P July 22, 2015 at 21:02

        More like Gold Finger.

      • 45 Professor VJ Duke July 24, 2015 at 00:06

        James Bond!

      • 46 Susan P July 24, 2015 at 01:03

        Do you know him?

      • 47 Professor VJ Duke July 24, 2015 at 17:42

        I do. But he’s not as cool as Tom Cruise.

  4. 48 PorterGirl July 7, 2015 at 12:00

    What a fabulous team – I cannot wait to follow the fortunes of Professing Truth! Great work, chaps.

    • 49 Professor VJ Duke July 7, 2015 at 12:19

      Ah, thank you, very much! Well, the team has yet to prove itself. They might implode, you know. It is a possibility.

      • 50 PorterGirl July 7, 2015 at 13:04

        That sounds dreadfully messy. I hope someone is on hand with a mop, just in case.

      • 51 Professor VJ Duke July 7, 2015 at 19:29

        Quite right! I shall have to put mops about. I hate those dreaded things. Their hair is always so…gray!

      • 52 PorterGirl July 7, 2015 at 19:41

        And often they smell strange. Depressing things!

      • 53 Professor VJ Duke July 8, 2015 at 13:09

        Yes, quite right. Mops should be banned to an island far, far away.

      • 54 PorterGirl July 8, 2015 at 13:25

        They can take the Amazing Pants with them, I say.

      • 55 Professor VJ Duke July 8, 2015 at 19:05

        Away with those vile things, anyway.

      • 56 PorterGirl July 8, 2015 at 19:21

        I shall tear them away from Terry.

      • 57 Professor VJ Duke July 9, 2015 at 11:54

        Well, unless he’s tearing them up a bit.

      • 58 PorterGirl July 9, 2015 at 12:09

        He has made them into a nest. I think there is part of a dead bird in them now.

      • 59 Professor VJ Duke July 9, 2015 at 22:37

        *laughs* Goodness no! How…lovely! You should encourage this sort of behavior.

      • 60 PorterGirl July 10, 2015 at 04:58

        He needs little encouragement to get up to things – he is a vicious beast! But I shall pass on your comments, he will be delighted.

      • 61 Professor VJ Duke July 10, 2015 at 13:05

        Yes, and give him a little pat from me.

      • 62 PorterGirl July 10, 2015 at 13:09

        Certainly will, he will like that lots.

      • 63 Professor VJ Duke July 10, 2015 at 18:53

        He is cute, after all.

      • 64 PorterGirl July 12, 2015 at 07:40

        Super cute!

      • 65 Professor VJ Duke July 13, 2015 at 00:08


  1. 1 Planets and Peoples | Dracoblag Trackback on July 15, 2015 at 02:43

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Depends on the day, see.

Punchy Argot:

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