NAME: Ruber Salami.
RESIDENCE: Ruber lives with his dad, Daddy Salami, on the edge of a great forest in a badly dilapidated hut.
PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION: Ruber is tall and quite hideous to lay eyes upon. His torso is so broad that his legs seem skinny. But they’re not. Nothing about Ruber is skinny. He is closer to seven feet than six, is clean shaven, and wears his long stringy red hair down to his shoulders. The crown of his head is balding slightly, and Ruber couldn’t care less. His face is flat and his features sharp. Ruber can definitely be described as a brute of a man. He looks strong and mean, and is strong and very mean—which may be forgivable considering his upbringing.
ABOUT: Ruber does all of the chores around the hut. He has to keep the grass cut (if you can call the thick yellow weeds that grow around Salami’s hut grass) with nothing but a pair of tweezers, wash the hut (which probably isn’t a big deal since Salami doesn’t really care about cleanliness), chop the wood for the fire, buy food at the market, prepare supper (which probably gets tricky for Ruber), and mend Salami’s trousers. Of course, he is bitter.
GREATEST FRIEND: Jazzy Couldren (aka Manly-Man). Although, their relationship has been deteriorating.
GREATEST FOE: A small kid who constantly tortures him, John Julia. Some say that Daddy is actually Ruber’s greatest foe.
DESCRIPTION IN THREE WORDS: Hideous, large, and strong.
QUOTES: Oh my goodness! What the heck, eh? I hate you!