NAME: Schwarz Tauptinker.

RESIDENCE: Schwarz came from Austria. Now he’s a wanderer. One never knows where he’ll show up.

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION: Oh dear. This is very hard. I suppose Schwarz is muscular and quite silly in the head. And that’s really all I can say.

ABOUT: Schwarz grew up in Austria. He worked as a tulip fancier. But the tulip business wasn’t a good one, so Schwarz left for America. He couldn’t find anything to do in America, though. Schwarz has been a colossal problem ever since—for everyone in the land.

GREATEST FRIEND: It really depends.

GREATEST FOE: It really depends too.

DESCRIPTION IN THREE WORDS: Schwarz, Schwarz, and Schwarzy.

QUOTES: Chicky, I don’t like it! Chickit! Do you want to DO?


10 Responses to “Schwarz Tauptinker”

  1. 1 FictionFan February 14, 2014 at 14:40

    Are roses red in the Punchy Lands?
    Are my Schwarzy’s violets blue?
    Is romance limited to shaking hands?
    Or may I kiss you too?

    Will you take my little hand in thine?
    Will you walk with me beneath the moon?
    And when the stars of heaven shine
    Will you impersonate a loon?

    Happy Valentine’s Day, Schwarzy!!

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke February 14, 2014 at 20:55

      :lol: :lol: :lol: Now! How many Valentine’s is FEF allowed to have?!

      The professor doesn’t think he’s going to show this to Schwarz!

      • 3 FictionFan February 15, 2014 at 16:46

        As many as she likes…

        Jealous? ;)

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke February 15, 2014 at 22:00


        Extremely so!!!

      • 5 FictionFan February 16, 2014 at 18:19

        Oh, good!!

      • 6 Professor VJ Duke February 17, 2014 at 13:05

        Rats and a Heifer.

  2. 7 Bethy February 13, 2014 at 15:12

    I do like the last name Tauptinker. It has such a nice ring to it.

    • 8 Professor VJ Duke February 13, 2014 at 23:54

      That’s awesome. But do you like Schwarz?

      • 9 Bethy February 20, 2014 at 01:23

        I have decided that I do!

      • 10 Professor VJ Duke February 20, 2014 at 14:38


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Depends on the day, see.

Punchy Argot:

1. Dadblameit.
2. Humdinger
3. Chickit
4. Chicky-woot-woot
5. Malediction
6. Rapscallion
7. Gardoobled
8. Congratulilolations
9. Togoggin
10. Gargonic
11. Two and Five Gurgles
12. Rats and a Heifer
13. Two nods, a wink, and an astroid
14. A bit, bits, and little bits
15. Huff-Hum and a Roar
16. So many thanks, I can't begin to thank you
17. Ri-do-diculous


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