Posts Tagged 'cherry cake we must hope'

At a Birthday Party, Blood Diets, and Old Fellows

professor speaks

So, the professor was having a seat.

Well, I mean, I was sitting. I wonder why it can’t be said ‘having a seat’?


It can, I’ve decided, the sudden.

Let’s start again:

professor speaks

The professor was having a seat. Period.

I was at this table with a few other chaps.

It was an old fellow’s birthday party, see. He was turning 95-years-old. That’s rather old, you must admit. Old enough to grow a beard.


Anyways and some, the professor was at the worthless table.

You know what I mean, I’m thinking.

At parties–big parties–there is always a table or a few that get filled by people no one wants to have speaks with.

That’s where I was sat. Well, not really. That’s where this professor sat, since it was the only free place left about, see.

Now, here’s the thing: Dinner conversations can be interesting.

Or even scary.

So, this professor, to play it safe, started things:

“Do you suppose we’ll get any cake?”


“Probably, probably,” the guy across from me said. “Now, look, did you all know there is this thing called a blood diet?”

“What in the world?” one girl said.

“Yes, yes,” the guy said, flopping his bangs around like water sloshes in a cup of wax and noodles. “It’s a diet…based on what blood type you are. Isn’t that fascinating?”

“Horrifying, you mean,” another girl said.

“No, no!” the guy said. “Not at all. See…”

And that’s when this professor interrupted. Time to change the subject, see.

“Do you suppose we’ll get any of the cake?”

“Who cares about that?” the guy said. “Listen, according to this blood diet–”

“I can’t take it anymore!!” another guy said. He had a pointy nose. “Stop talking about the bloody blood diet! NOW!

And he rose swiftly, crashing his chair back. The party sorta stopped.

We never got any cake.

Moral: Don’t have speaks about blood diets, and you’ll get some cake.

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