Posts Tagged 'Death'

Sweet or Dill Pickles? (Off the Grid)

OfftheGridPicSo, this professor went into a food store this past week.

Do you like dill or sweet pickles…or neither? That’s my question to you, I must admit.

See, while I was in the store, I picked up a jar of pickles and went to pay for them like any respectable thingy might do.

But now, the fellow at the register, said: “Sir…I just want to make sure…you know, right, that you are holding sweet pickles? I mean, you’re going to be buying sweet pickles!”

He said it as if he was shocked.

“I had no idea,” I said. “I picked up the first jar I saw. See, between me and you, they all taste the same anyway.”

“Uhh…” and he trailed off a bit. “You’re wrong. The sweet pickles…” And he paused here, ’cause he couldn’t find the word he was looking for. Or rather his tongue couldn’t.

“…Sweet pickles…”

I let him flounder for a bit, just because I’m a wicked professor, don’t you know.

1310199457_SweetPickles1_xlarge

Sweet, waterlogged pickles.

© 2012 Cie Stroud

Dill pickles.

Then he found himself.

“Sweet pickles,” he said, “are worse for you. They’ve got…preservatives.”

“Do they? A wonder,” I said. “Now how much is this?”

The line was building, too, I should say.

“Sir,” he said, “I’m really suggesting that you get dill pickles right now.”

And that’s when the woman behind me said, “Could we move it along?”

I turned around. “We’re having a giant pickle discussion. Please hold on for a few.”

She huffed.

“No,” I said, “this professor will get these.”

“Sir, you will die in a few years if you continue to eat like this.”

And I got them.

And…this professor still hasn’t touched them.

Advertisements

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email!

Join 1,867 other followers

Follow The Punchy Lands! on WordPress.com

Blog Stats

  • 116,581 hits

Join the Professor on Twitter!

Professorish Smiley:

==[:-{)=

or

==[:-{)+

Depends on the day, see.

Punchy Argot:

1. Dadblameit.
2. Humdinger
3. Chickit
4. Chicky-woot-woot
5. Malediction
6. Rapscallion
7. Gardoobled
8. Congratulilolations
9. Togoggin
10. Gargonic
11. Two and Five Gurgles
12. Rats and a Heifer
13. Two nods, a wink, and an astroid
14. A bit, bits, and little bits
15. Huff-Hum and a Roar
16. So many thanks, I can't begin to thank you
17. Ri-do-diculous

Advertisements

%d bloggers like this: