Posts Tagged 'green eyes'

Rescued (Somewhat)

Silence is only agreement if you agree to be silent.

V. Shnodgrate, Renowned PL Poet

UntitledSo, yes, here it is in a nut:

I was tranquilized and carried away by Honi security guards.

Yes, it’s awful. Yes, it could get worst. No, there was nothing I could do about it.

And then I was escorted roughly from the building and thrown into the back of a van.

Sorta like this. Only no free candy. Let that be a lesson to you: Kidnappers never give out free candy.

Sorta like this. Only no free candy. Let that be a lesson to you: Kidnappers never give out free candy.

Two of the guards sat with me.

I looked at them each, in turn.

They both looked away.

I looked again.

“Hey,” I said.

“We can’t talk with you,” one answered shortly.

“You’re in big trouble,” the other said. “Just wait till we get you to the capital.”

“Quiet!” his partner yelled at him.

The professor was undaunted, of course. “How come and why so? Why am I in trouble?”

“Because you had this,” and the one guard held up my jar of cherries.

MY cherries. The brute. The beast. The inhuman dirt-face!

But I remained calm.

Because that’s what real professors do.

The sudden, the van stopped.

There was some sort of commotion up front, then we lurched forward again.

“When do you fellows suppose I’ll be able to feel my feet again?” I asked.

A just question.

After all, tranquilizers can’t last forever, can they?

I felt like this monkey, only I wasn’t eating:


I was cranky like him, see.


Then, the van stopped.

We waited.

5 minutes passed.

The one guard looked at the other guard.

“Hank,” he said. “What’s taking so long?”

“I don’t know.”

Sounded nervous.

I began to whistle.

“Shut-it!” Hank said.

5 more minutes passed.

I began to feel my feet.

Oh goody.


“That’s it,” Hank said, and he threw the doors open.

Daddy Salami was standing there.

His orange hair was a mess, and his green eyes were bright.


“What the–!”

A fight ensued.

Salami won.

It was bloody. There were screams.

“The turtle curs,” he said. “Hahaha.”

That’s when Manly-Man peeked into the van.

“Hey, honey.”

“Well,” I said. “About time I was rescued.”

“Strange things are afoot,” Salami said. “And it has to do with yer cherries.”

“How’d you know?” I was surprised, after all.

Salami’s mouth dropped into a frown.

“He told me.”

A thumb in Manly-Man’s direction.

Manly-Man tilted his head and gave me a tight-lipped smile.

Then he said: “It’s deeper than you know, dude.”

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TPL Schedule

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Depends on the day, see.

Punchy Argot:

1. Dadblameit.
2. Humdinger
3. Chickit
4. Chicky-woot-woot
5. Malediction
6. Rapscallion
7. Gardoobled
8. Congratulilolations
9. Togoggin
10. Gargonic
11. Two and Five Gurgles
12. Rats and a Heifer
13. Two nods, a wink, and an astroid
14. A bit, bits, and little bits
15. Huff-Hum and a Roar
16. So many thanks, I can't begin to thank you
17. Ri-do-diculous


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