Posts Tagged 'Humor'



At the Bakery

So, I like cookies a bit.

You know?

Especially cherry cookies.

Wait. I lie.

I’ve never had a cherry cookie, have you?

Exactly right! They don’t exist. Or, at least, they seem not to.

Professor’s Newest Theory: Cherry Cookies do not exist.

So, I tested the theory and went into a local bakery.

sweet-tooth-fairy-bakery-5

Now, I must say the bakery was rather full. And packed. And busy. It was rather full, see.

“Excuse me!” I shouted over the din.

No answer for a little bits.

“Excuse me a few times!”

You’d be surprised, but that worked. The people in front of me turned around, and I got to the front.

A fat woman was at the register.

“What would you like?” she asked, grabbing that little plastic paper thingy they have to use to grab cookies with.

“I’d like–” I began, but she cut me off.

“A lemon custard cookie? Sure thing.”

And faster than a rabbit on drugs, faster than Muhammed on the back of an ass, faster than Brock Lesnar…

4281218-6083399682-Brock

Brock Lesnar

…faster than ever, she grabbed a lemon custard cookie and handed it to me.

“Very nice,” I said, pushing her hand and the cookie aside, “but I wasn’t looking for that.”

Her face fell. “What? What do you want, then?”

“I’ll take…” I’d quite forgotten what I came in for, the sudden.

“Hey, buddy,” a voice said behind me. “Hurry up, I want a cookie.”

I did the only decent thing one can do in such a situation: I took the lemon custard cookie from the woman and gave it to him.

“Now, see here,” I said to the lady, “do you have cherry cookies?”

And she gave me one.

I was astounded.

PF, cherry cookies exist.

Let’s have a dance to celebrate.

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Punchy Argot:

1. Dadblameit.
2. Humdinger
3. Chickit
4. Chicky-woot-woot
5. Malediction
6. Rapscallion
7. Gardoobled
8. Congratulilolations
9. Togoggin
10. Gargonic
11. Two and Five Gurgles
12. Rats and a Heifer
13. Two nods, a wink, and an astroid
14. A bit, bits, and little bits
15. Huff-Hum and a Roar
16. So many thanks, I can't begin to thank you
17. Ri-do-diculous

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