The PL Times
The Official Punchy Lands’ Newspaper
Monday, January 20, 2014
Section A. Punchy Proverbs:
A short note from V. Shnodgrate:
“I apologize for my absence last week. I apologize for what you read last week. I apologize for Fats Henry’s proverb last week.”
~ V. Shnodgrate
(1) The world spins, but we are not aware of it.
(2) To be wicked is to embrace your nature.
(3) The outcome is always known.
Any favorites, PF?
Section B. Something you should know about the professor:
I have decided that I do not want to be known as Smiles Riot. In fact, I should stick with my real name: VJ Duke. You may be wondering why the professor thinks of Smiles Riot as his hero. I should tell the story of our acquaintance.
Section C. What the PL’ers have to say:
A short conversation:
SMILES RIOT: If I was on a park bench waiting for a bus, where would you be?
BUD PARKER: Bud, the question floors me, to be honest with you.
RIOT: But I didn’t ask for your honesty. I asked where you’d be.
PARKER: Boy, oh boy, bud. You’re a trip!
RIOT: If you’re waiting for the bus, I suppose you’re about to go on a trip. But since you couldn’t answer my question, I must assume you’re negative.
RIOT: Negative on brain power.
Section D. Breaking News:
Bud Parker reported to the authorities that he met and spoke with Mr. Smiles Riot. It is believed, however, that Mr. Riot escaped to England with the stolen music box.
King Arthur has refused to give Smiles Riot up.
Mark Malone may be sent in to bring Mr. Riot to justice.
But The Veezler has ordered that Mr. Riot be left alone.
Section E. Featured Story: King Arthur
by J. Freedwoppen
“Basically, we won’t give him up, because he’s not a villain, not a blackheart, and did nothing wrong in my kingdom!”
When asked about the threat that secret agent, Mark Malone, and Boris the Green pose, Arthur laughed.
“The only reason those two are still alive is because I’ve never caught them! They’ll never be able to apprehend Smiles Riot! Never!”
But some are not so sure.
Section F. Ask a PL’er a question:
Any questions for a specific PL’er? Ask here! [If the professor forgot to ask your question, let me know of my blunder immediately!]
Section G. Hearing from the PL Family:
PL family, if you have any questions about the Punchy Lands, characters, or anything Punchy, feel free to comment below.
The Punchy Times principal reporter, J. Freedwoppen, would be more than glad to cover or investigate your query. [Make sure to clearly indicate your question for Mr. Freedwoppen. If the professor forgot to ask your question, let me know of my blunder immediately!]
One question for J. Freedwoppen this week, from elprice2013 (Bethy):
Q: Why is Monday the 13th not more superstitious than Friday the 13th?
This is a very interesting question, Bethy. It turns out that Daddy Salami considers Monday the 13th to be more superstitious than Friday the 13th!
His reasoning is that his son, Ruber Salami, was born on Monday the 13th—hence, it’s far more superstitious.
Merlin considers both days to be highly superstitious.
So, it really depends on which PL’er you ask.
~ J. Freedwoppen.