Posts Tagged 'tom brady'

Important Things

So, yes, it’s Christmas this week.

Like in two days.

Maybe it was nine. I really can’t recall. (Don’t laugh. When you get my age, this sort of thing starts to happen. That’s what I’ve been told, though. How age affects the mind is still a mystery. But it does.)

Now, here’s the thing:

I’ve decided to announce a few things of importance.

First off, the Patriots won the AFC East. Again.


Steelers deflate balls, too.

Second, it’s the season of the Krampus.


This excites me lots and lots.


They say the best way to get the Krampus to pay a visit is to insult his brother, Santa Claus.

This doesn’t work.

I’ve tried.

Thirdly, and lastly…

…well, I did have something, but I forget what it was.

I’m old, remember.

Oh I remember!

Merry Christmas, everyone! Make sure to eat a few cookies for me.


Why Conor McGregor is like Tom Brady

professor speaks


So, this professor just thought he should say a few words about it.

Not that it matters much one way or another.

But this fellow:


Conor McGregor

Has something very interesting in common with this fellow:


Tom Brady (with blurry background)

You see, both fellows bucked authority and fought the bad guys. McGregor, the UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship) and Dana White; Brady, the NFL (National Football League) and Roger Goodell.

And this is the funny part, see.

While that looks grand and all that, here’s the thing: It’s all a setup.

In truth, that’s true

The NFL created deflategate for publicity; McGregor said he was going to retire for publicity. See, and many sees, it had nothing to do with the fact that footballs were deflated a few PSI, and it had nothing to do with not wanting to do any more press conferences.

Which means, McGregor and Brady did not buck authority.

That’s right.

They followed authority.

Like mooses in the field.

Following authority

Following authority

So, they’re alike because they follow authority not rebel against it.

What a thing.

I did not see that conclusion coming myself.

Moral: If you’re going to buck authority, don’t do it because you’re following authority. That’s just messed up. And the professor is wise to you, too.

Okay, that’s the professor’s conspiracy theory for today.

PVJ out.

Donald Trump, the Patriots, and Happy 2016

professor speaks

And now the professor will have speaks.

First off, happy new year everyone!

It’s 2016, which doesn’t look at all impressive, you must admit.

See–and I’m sure you agree–2014 looked more impressive.

Don’t you think so?


I’m not sure why either. But there it is.

And now this professor has a prediction to make.

Prediction: By 2116, I will own a hoverboard.

Now how neatio is that?


I hope to get the red model, though.

So, what else should we have speaks about?

Oh yes!

Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

It’s made around $1.5 billion so far. Some say it will be the highest grossing movie of all time, moving ahead of both Avatar (2009) and Titanic (1997). (They are #1 & #2 on the list as of now, see.)


If that happened, it would be an interest. But only for a time and a bit of a time.

This professor hasn’t seen Avatar, Titanic, or Star Wars, can you believe.

But I have seen Lone Survivor (2013), starring Mark Wahlberg, which is pretty awesome.


Should we have speaks about the Patriots? Nah, I can’t stand it, I tell you.


Losing their last two games! I can’t stand it, I say! *rampages for about two months*

However, it’s also quite interesting that Mr. Donald Trump predicted that the New England Patriots would win Super Bowl 50.


Not that anyone cares.

After all, what does Donald Trump know about football? And in particular, the Pats?

At first glance, one might say nothing, like this professor did.

But, consider the following facts: Donald Trump is Tom Brady’s friend, who is Bill Belichick’s friend, who is Clint Eastwood’s friend, who made the film American Sniper (2014), which tells the story about Chris Kyle, who was good friends with Marcus Luttrell, who was portrayed in the film Lone Survivor (2013) by Mark Wahlberg, who is a huge Patriots fan.

Go Patriots.

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Punchy Argot:

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