This professor would tell you a lot about himself, but inexplicably, I would end up telling you only uninteresting and dull particulars which would leave you crying in supreme boredom. In fact, you’d probably be left wondering why you had wanted to hear anything in the first place. So, I’ll just give you some dull facts:
(1) My favorite author is Mark Twain. (Even though he wasn’t professorish.)
(2) I don’t like coffee or chocolate–much.
(3) Butterflies hate me, I think.
(4) I’m never quite myself.
(5) Transposing Nocturnes–notably, Chopin’s–is dreadfully vexing.
(6) I change often. Sometimes unexpectedly.
(7) I think I collect rocks and old coins. (Preferably, nice-looking rocks with red streaks, and nice-looking old coins without red streaks.)
(8) I have a blue desk with ugly crayon drawings in the drawers that I’m not at all responsible for. The culprit has yet to be found, I fear.
(9) Sometimes I feel like myself.
(10) The professor can be mathematically explained. This is a wonder since his equation has yet to be discovered.
(11) Pride and Prejudice scares me, but I haven’t had a nightmare yet.
(12) I’m heartless. (I lost my heart on the plains of Troy.)
(13) The professor is a warrior.
(14) I have analysts; they keep me straight, since I tend to curve a bit.
That’s about it. *bows and his hat stays on*