When you go and hide, there’s a principle most everyone follows–if they want to succeed in the pursuit of hiding: They don’t sneeze.
~ V. Shnodgrate, Renowned PL Poet
So, I had to hide in a hurry.
The room was an odd room. There were sofas, potted plants, free plants, pictured plants, and a few staple guns.
But, of course, this professor paid no attention to that. For you see, sitting on the wall–I doubt it was glued there, but I couldn’t see how it was staying there–was a jeweled katana.
It was amazing. Breathtaking. All in all, quite beautiful, really.
This is not it, but it’s a katana, see.
No doubt at all this is exactly what Schwarz Tauptinker and Bud Parker were here for. This is what they were sneaking for. This, is what they were thieving for.
It was a wonder and a few that I hadn’t seen it at first. After all, it must be said, when you first walk into a room you really don’t notice the swords. If there are swords.
But I didn’t really have time to think on things muchly more, see.
I had to hide.
There were voices and footsteps.
So, here’s the thing: when there’s no place to hide, one usually hides in the worst of places. That happened to Schwarz, Parker, and I. We all jumped behind the sofa, right under the jeweled katana.
Rotten hiding place.
The lights clicked on.
The voices were among us.
“This is it.”
Oh dear me.
“It’s beautiful,” a voice boomed in answer.
Fats Henry. (The chap lives on a floating island–it floats in the air–and is quite huge.)
“Now,” Prince Beef continued, “I’ll give you that sword, if, and only if, peasant, you bring me the Diamond of Drake.”
This professor nearly gasped. See, the Diamond of Drake is a famous diamond in the Punchy Lands.
So big, so bright. So beautiful. So sparkly. So important, in fact, many “so’s” can’t really explain it. It’s also on display, see.
Tourists come to see it. That’s the way it’s done.
“Hmm,” Henry said, thinking a bit, bits, and little bits. “The Diamond of Drake…”
“Yes, peasant,” the prince answered. “Bring it to me and this…will be yours!”
“And that’s something else!” Henry almost roared. “I’m not a peasant. I’m full of glorious fat!”
There was a pause.
“I think you’re revolting,” Prince Beef finally said. “But enough of that. Do we have a deal? I shall, from this diamond, make a ring for my beloved, Gertrude.”
“Yeah, sure, whatever,” Henry answered. “I want that sword.”
The lights clicked off, the door closed. They were leaving.
Now, I had a thinks. See, if I didn’t take the jeweled katana, Parker and Schwarz would thieve it. If they didn’t thieve it, Henry would thieve the diamond for the sword.
All that thieving.
One thing to do.
I jumped up.