“Look here,” I said, and I must admit my frustration was growing lots and lots, “I’d like to rent this book.”
“Can’t,” she said.
“Because this particular book only has the buy option.”
This professor was standing in a bookstore on a college campus. Let me tell you now–like right now–college books are very expensive. And renting college books is expensive.
Just a little less expensive.
So, I tried from a different angle.
“Check this out, the sudden,” I said, “this book is called ‘The Life, Death & In-Between Space of Dr. Lewis Dayton Clark.'”
“So?” And she pursed her purple lips together (I don’t think they were natural, mind) and put her hands on her hips.
“So,” I concluded, “it follows that no one wants to buy a book about the in-between space of Dr. Lewis Dayton Clark. Therefore, it must be available only to rent.”
There were a few chaps that started to laugh behind me.
The girl pointed a finger in my direction. “You have an attitude. I’m getting the manager.”
And she flounced off.
I left, of course. With the book.
But I ran into the manager and the girl outside.
The manager chap, I must say, was a bit puffy and fat. He was eating something. Must’ve been interrupted. He was cranky, too. Red cheeks, see.
“YOU!” he bellowed. “You’re not allowed to rent that book!”
And he tried to snatch it from my hands.
But this professor being quicker than a snake swimming around in an ice pond, snatched it away before he could gain possession of it.
“Look here,” I said, “look here right now, you puffy, ignorant Yucketh!”
That took him–and her–aback.
“I happen to be a professor. The professor. I told my students they could rent this book. And you…YOU! You dare?! I shall turn you both in to the Union at once.”
So, that’s when everything went downhill.
They didn’t exactly buy my story and I didn’t exactly buy the book.
Introducing my new spirit animal!