Okay.
Let’s be honest for a split second. (Not that I’m not honest for every other second, mind.)
What is the worst thing ever?
You might be tempted to say: Why, the worst thing ever is when a baby lizard is brutally murdered by a snapping turtle who feels encroached upon after eating a hearty breakfast and laying in the sun to aid in the digestion process, which is quite finicky to say the least.
This is true, yes, but you’d be wrong.
That’s second.
The first worst thing is getting up early.
Very early.
Like 4am early.
That’s bad.
So, so dadblame bad.
It goes like this:
The alarm rings and you shut it off. After all, how dare it wake you up?!
Alarm clocks don’t look this nice.
It rings 20 minutes later. Well, it was supposed to ring 20 minutes later, but you’re pretty sure it’s only 5. (Imagine a clock that can’t keep time. What’s this world coming to?)
You crank your head up and stare at the clock. It stares back at you.
“Look here,” you try to reason with it, “I don’t really care if I’m late even though I know I have to be there. After all, sleep is more important than anything else…CAN’T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?!“
The clock shrugs and moves forward a minute.
“Dadblameit, you slug!” you nearly scream. “I need some understanding!”
The insult must make it mad, ’cause it moves 2 whole minutes forward.
“Don’t…please…”
What else is there but to beg now?
Tears begin to flow.
Another minute.
“Fine then, you absurd box with red lights, I’m up!”
And thus begins a day.
It’s an early day.
And you’ve already been ticked off (see what I did there) by your clock.
Btdubs, this is a true story.
Moral: I haven’t thought one up yet.
The Punchy Lands! 
Some mornings I’m tempted to smash my alarm clock but then I realize that I set it cause I need a *hand* in the morning haha. Also cause my alarm is my phone and I don’t want to damage it.
I think it’s a bit worse when you wake up before the alarm rings at the time that it’s supposed to.
Four a.m. is too early. In fact, that hour should be erased from existence. Not sure what would take its place though.
4am is when i’m about to go to sleep. Im in bed already, just not asleep yet. If it was me, i’d throw the alarm clock across the room… hahahha!
Yikes! Four a.m.? Is there really such a thing? Say it isn’t so, Professor! I used to love sleeping late, but because of work, I can’t do that anymore. Plus I have this furry dog who’s getting on in age and insists on going outside before the sun is up.
lol 4am is a wicked, wicked thing. We must never speak of it, in hopes that it might disappear see. How’s Mr. Dallas doing?
Thanks for asking! He’s just fine and eagerly awaiting cooler weather. How are your two beasts?
Maybe waking to Metallica would help. Too much?
Oooooooo…now that’s a splendid idea!!!
Duh. :) Giggle
I’ve been around the clock a few times since last showing my face. I’ve missed the Punchy family, and will set my alarm clock to grope for my iPad to read your witticisms. Only not too early as that makes me throw my clock out the window.
ANGELINE!!!!!! It’s good to have you back here. What…it’s been like ten years I’ve been gone, right? Gone…into the void.
Haha…when I posted this comment I didn’t realize you had been gone where ever professors go. Then I kept scrolling 🙄. But we’re both back.
If that smarmy yellow thingamabob squawked wake up at me I would punch it in the pearly whites. I won’t stand for it.
What if it never ticked again after that?
I would grind up the evidence. Who would be the wiser?
*sobs brokenly over the poor wee lizard*
The moral of the story is: If you must get up at 4 a.m., don’t go to bed. Throw an all-night party with lots of cake and dancing instead!
I see you’ve gone purple! I knew you’d grow to love it eventually! *dances*
Would you try fried lizard?
But what if you’re sorta still drunk by the time 4am roles around then what? Then what? Answer: you die. But I do like that sound of that.
It’s my girly side coming out…
Hmm – I might. I’d rather eat lizard than insects. *shudders*
Oh, you don’t have a girly side! Purple is the colour of emperors!
Guns work well in these situations….of course I mean for the clock :-O
Haha. I only have a katana tho
It is the worst!! I used to be like you, mornings were not my friend and if you looked up early in my personal dictionary, it would say ‘any time before 10am’. But I’ve got better – I think it’s an age thing. Still have to hit snooze at least four times though.
B ‘TDUBS’… I don’t remember giving permission to use my nickname. I shall forward details of where to send royalties ;)
10am, in fact, is like the perfect time to get up, right? Right. Good. That’s decided.
hahahahahahahahah…wait, is that really your nickname?
It is… it’s the initials of my last name. Someone I used to work with came up with it, trying to make me sound gangsta (?!) and it stuck. Even the children at school refer to me as Miss T-Dubs!!