So…okay, this is rather a brutal thing to say, but you know this professor: I can’t help myself.
See, sometimes it’s best to be brutal: You get out what you need to say and you don’t have long thinks about it and end up changing your mind.
Have you ever been in a situation where you were quite happy and quite frustrated at once? A situation where you were relieved but pretty badly annoyed?
Let me explain.
You see, I had been searching all over for this gym bag. It was a red, Under Armour gym bag, to be precise.
Aha. This be the brute.
Then, wonders of wonders, I found it! (It was in the last store I checked, too. How’s that for a dadblamery?)
Thus, this professor was extremely overjoyed, having found the bag.
BUT.
And this is a big but.
The bag was wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy way way way way at the top of a shelf, far out of my reach.
So it was a sticky wicket.
Now, there was a fellow about who worked there, but he was far off, leaning on a table, staring this professor’s way.
Yes, he was taunting me.
“You can’t get the bag,” he seemed to be saying.
“That might be,” I seemed to be saying back, “but watch how I end up getting it.”
I’ll be honest right away.
The jumping didn’t work.
Gosh. I hope I didn’t look like that.
Up to this point in my life, I must admit I thought I was a rather good jumper. You know how it is. You fancy you can do something well, you even take pride in thinking that you can, but the fact is you’ve just never really tried.
So now we all know I can’t jump.
DADBLAMEIT. You know what…? Forget I even mentioned that…
After my jumping attempts failed (just because my ankle was rather sore that day) I moved on to a better solution: a hockey stick.
You see, one glance in the fellow’s direction proved that he was still leaning on the table. But there was a smug look on his face after the attempted jumps. (Dadblame that sore ankle, right?)
But once I returned with the hockey stick…
Ah, he stood up then…
…and watched the professor fetch his bag.
Moral: You don’t need to jump when you have a hockey stick.
The Punchy Lands! 