The professor put on a t-shirt, then a dress shirt, then a sweater vest, then a velvet jacket.
I did this ’cause it was sorta cold out, you know.
And like Scrooge says, garments were invented to protect against cold.
Though I sorta doubt this, the sudden. See, the garments didn’t do too much to protect against the cold, I felt. Then again, I’m sure it was better than nothing.
See? Every story has two sides. I persuade myself freely from side to side, depending on my mood at the hour, minute, or even second.
Anyways and a sum of half the total, this professor was on the march through a college campus.
It was lightly snowing and quite gray outside, see.
I hear that muscles shiver to protect against the cold. You know, they sorta shiver to build up heat. This is wrong of them. If they didn’t shiver, I wouldn’t be cold. See, shivering causes my coldness.
This is a fact.
Then I ran into a group of students, I think.
“Where are you going?” one asked.
Sorta brazen, I thought.
“Too far in this weather,” I answered.
“Where?”
“Yeah, where?” another joined in.
I find that when you’re getting asked lots and lots of questions, the best thing to do is talk lots and lots. This stops your attacker from asking more questions.
But don’t you know, at that exact moment, my mouth was too cold to move much.
Dadblame the weather.
“What’s in the bag?” one of the girls asked.
And I was carrying a bag.
Okay, it didn’t look like this, obviously. But this is what came up first for secret bag…let me have another locketh…
This isn’t right either. I assure you.
Aha! This is something like what I was carrying.
So, what was in the bag?
“Enough dynamite to blow up your college, I fear.”
That fetched them.
They were off in a jiffy–which I hear is a tenth of a second.
And this professor was alone again.
Few seconds later, a police car sorta pulled up.
Lesson: Don’t make up dangerous lies.
Moral: If you lie, make sure everyone knows it’s a lie.
Rats and a Heifer.
I’ve decided I lied because I was so cold.
*nods*
The Punchy Lands! 